Poppy’s morning sickness had cleared and his body was the perfect temperature for her to cozy up in meaning she drifted off easily and managed to actually get a few hours sleep to clear her head. When she woke up it was late afternoon and she suddenly felt amazing, her body wasn’t aching with fatigue like before. She yawned and sat up, trying her hair in a bun before padding out into the kitchen in her pjs. “Baby?” She called her landon as she walked over to him on the sofa. “Thanks for getting me off to sleep, I needed it” she admitted, plopping down on his lap.
As soon as Poppy was asleep, Landon got up and left her to get some peace and quiet. He didn’t wanna be the cause of anymore lost sleep. He kissed the girl’s forehead then walked out and figured he would cook himself some beans on toast. He was honestly so lost without Poppy, he could barely do this on his own. He managed to cut his finger on the tin and bandaged it up roughly with paper towels and sticky tape. He ate and then settled to watch a movie. By the time Poppy came out, he was growing sleepy himself. “Hey babe,” he smiled and cuddled her into his body, “No problem, I didn’t do anything though.” he said.
"Shhh, stop" she mumbled into his hair, her eyes fluttering closed as she stroked his back. She was so tired and defeated she just let him hold her and relaxed into his body, her breathing heavy with exhaustion, "I got like no sleep last night so if I fall asleep on you I’m sorry" she excused herself, tracing the lines of his tattoos on his forearm absentmindedly as she soothed him. "Stay with me tonight?" She asked, gazing up at him.
Landon could see how tired Poppy was looking right now and she just…felt different. And he didn’t now what exactly it was but it was most likely his fault. He was a rotten boyfriend. “It’s okay, I want you to sleep okay? I won’t leave you.” he said gently and cuddled her closer, lying down with Poppy on top of him. “Of course I will, I will try and spend everynight at home.” he said, kissing her cheek. “Sleep okay?”
Poppy reached out for him tugging him down until he was in her arms as she soother him, hands stroking at his hair like she was nurturing him. “It’s okay, baby, I’m here with you. You just have to work with me” she told him, kissing the corner of his head by the side of his eye. “I love you and I will fight for you always, I’m ojt going to just give up on you, ok?” She asked pulling him back slightly to look at him
Landon felt Poppy’s warm arms hugging him and speaking soothing words like she always did when he was upset or angry. She was always here for him and he honestly felt awful for how he had been treating her. “I’m so sorry baby.” he told her, picking her up easily and sitting her on his lap. He wrapped his arms around her waist and cuddled into her tightly. “I love you more than anything.”
"I didn’t not want to cuddle, I don’t want you to think what you’re doing is okay and that I’ll just accept it, but I also want to be supportive and help you through it." She explain, shuffling over on the bed so he could sit next to her, she turned on her side, her eyes heavy from the need to rest the day away. "I need you here with me, not out with your friends every night" she sighed
Landon looked to Poppy and sighed, “I know it’s not okay, you really think I think what I’m doing is fine? I’m scared Poppy, I don’t want to do it but I can’t stop once I start. I want to be here with you but when I know the stuff is over there I have to go, I don’t know what comes over me. But I promise I’ll try.” he says and kisses her forehead. “I’m so sorry, I’ve failed you so many times.” he whispers, his voice shakey, bending over with his head in his hands.
Poppy crawled onto the bed “wait” she called to him, making him walk back to the bed. She felt guilty and selfish not telling him about the entire thing but he was going through enough at the moment anyway. “Come back, yeah? I’ll try and cheer up and we can cuddle” she half smiled through a yawn, tugging on his hand slightly before he left for his run.
Landon heard Poppy ask him to wait and turned around, looking down at the single thing he loved the most. “What’s wrong?” he asked before she answered, her hand holding his. He frowned and looked down, “I don’t wanna push it…you didn’t wanna cuddle before and I don’t wanna make you mad baby.” he said softly but at the same time, moved his feet to sit on the bed.
"You need to try, I need you to try. You can’t be on it for the rest of your life, the quicker you’re off of it the easier it will be" she told him, nod she found out she was pregnant she was going to be serious on this and get him to quit. Regardless of their relationship or her beliefs this baby didn’t deserve a drug addict dad. She watched as he picked up the photo she’d throw in anger, reaching out for it. "I can do it" she said taking the frame from him. She walked off and dumped the glass into the bin, leaving the photo on the kitchen counter as she drank down a glass of water. "I’m gonna have a lie down in bed, what are yours plans for the day?" She asked him as she walked back into the bedroom
"I said I will try okay! That’s all I can do!" he said again, his headache and her constant disapproving words making him more and more angry. Poppy took the frame from his hands and watched as she threw everything but the photo away. At least she didn’t get rid of that. "I don’t have anything planned for today…usually I spend my days with you." he said shyly and sighed, "I’ll go for a run then." he said, feeling like Poppy had put up a giant wall between them. He walked to the bedroom and got changed into running shorts and his trainers, going shirtless for his run.
"You carry on and you won’t see your thirtieth birthday" she shrugged, though she was far from calm about it. She needed a rock for her side with the pregnancy and raising a baby, she didn’t wanna do it alone. She followed him into the bedroom, leaning against the door. "I’m so lonely. I’m here all by myself, I’m fighting a fight by myself, I fall asleep every night alone. I cry myself to sleep. I deal with you when you’re being sick. I miss my home, I miss feeling safe. Landon, you’re all I have and I don’t even have you, you’d rather be with booze and other girls." She whimpered
Landon got to their room and saw the picture of them lying across the room, smashed and frowned. He walked over and picked it up, his heart sinking when Poppy began to talk as well. “I’m not with other girls. it’s just guys. And I would quit if I could but I was alone when I started again and it’s so hard babe, I-I want to but it’s so fucking hard.” he said, walking over to her and holding the frame. “And I know how much you don’t like me at the moment and I’m sorry I’m a shit boyfriend, but I’m gonna try okay? I can’t be without you though.” he said. He looked back to the frame and sighed, “I’ll chuck this out.”
Poppy knew he wouldn’t be able to remember her revelation this morning and she was partly happy that he couldn’t. She needed to wrap her own head around it first. “I’m not even upset about what you said because I said horrible things to, it’s what you’re doing to yourself now. The drugs and the partying. You know I hate it” she told him, turning her head as she spoke to him. “It’s not something we can just brush under the carpet and act like it doesn’t happen during the day and cuddle. Something needs to be done about it, I love you but I’m not gonna watch you destroy everything we have” she said, her tone level and serious as she turned her head up to look at him, fingers fluttering over her stomach.
Landon thought everything would be okay eventually this morning but Poppy wasn’t budging. He had forgotten she found out about the drugs and looked down, “Yeah well I don’t know if I can anymore.” he says, talking about stopping the drugs. He was an addict, it wasn’t exactly easy. “I’m not destroying anything, we’re okay. We have rough patches like normal couples but we’re fine!” he said angrily, standing up and going to their bedroom. He was too hungover to hear her preach at him.
Poppy looked over at him and rolled her eyes with a yawn “I’m not leaving, I can’t” she muttered, leaning her head on the arm of the sofa as she tried to mentally calculate how far gone she must have been. She’d been back for the past month but because of Landons partying they hadn’t had sex in about a week and a half which meant she had to be anywhere from a month to two weeks gone. The test had said 3+ weeks on so really she needed to get down to the doctors and then tell landon within the next week or two once she’d clarified it all. “As much as you might want me to leave you’re stuck with me so get used to it”
Landon looked to Poppy confused as she said she couldn’t leave. “Well, if you wanted to you could. You’re your own person…but I don’t want you to leave. I know I say a lot of shit but I’m sorry. But at the same time, you can’t say you’ll go back to Kyle.” he tells her, standing up and walking over to the couch to sit next to her. “And for the record, I’m happy you’re stuck with me.” he smiles and looks at her. “Can we cuddle?” he asks quietly.
Poppy didn’t bother to follow after him and instead got back into bed and laid down. She’d had no sleep the night before and felt physically sick and worn out. She was going to go back to sleep but she couldn’t so she went into the kitchen, she couldn’t remember if pregnant people were allowed tea or not so she had a decafè one just in case before slumping on the sofa.
Landon sipped on his coffee, sitting on one of the stools by the kitchen bar. He watched Poppy come in, silence between them as she made herself a coffee too and then went to the couch. “So, when are you leaving to go be with Kyle?” he asked, bringing up her words from last night again.